Play Nice or Play Dead

1. Come up with 101 interesting or little known facts about you and post them in your journal.
2. Tag at least one other person to do this too.

1. Thanks to Kaitlyn, whenever I watch Star Wars, I look for "That's What She Said" jokes.

2. I would go barefoot all the time if people would let me.

3. Whenever I'm with my friends in public I wonder how many people think we're crazy. The best part is, we're not even trying that hard. XD

4. I'm afraid that people are right and I am nothing but a burden to my mother.

5. Even on the days I don't think I look pretty, I still think I look awesome in my own way.

6. I sleep with 15 stuffed animals. And almost all of them are couples.

7. When I was little, whenever someone made me say I'm sorry, I'd burst into tears as I said it.

8. I won't eat/drink something if I don't like the way it smells. I'm afraid this means I'll never experience everything I want to.

9. When I was 3 my mom tried to abandon me in a shopping mall. When I was 10 she told me she never wanted me. When I was 12 she drove to a McDonalds after a fight, dropped me off and left me there for an hour. I don't think I'll ever forgive her completely for those things.

10. I really good at memorizing and learning things I care about.

11. I love to dance, but I'm not very good at it.

12. I have lockliophobia, or the fear of childbirth.

13. My favorite cousins are Chris and Dan. Once Tony and Joey stole hobbes from me. Chris and Dan beat them up until they gave him back to me. They also beat the hell out of tony after he did what he did to me.

14. I hate half my family because they ignore me.

15. I don't think I've ever been more proud of my mom then when she told me she quit her job to go back to college.

16. I believe in karma.

17. I try and make eye contact with people when I talk to them. Some people are kind of uncomfortable with it, but it helps me read their reactions.

18. I believe in a female deity that makes her subjects out of clay. And I comfort myself by saying that she isn't just a woman, she's also imperfect.

19. I spend time teaching myself to do useless things. However, I can now quirk my eyebrows, wiggle my ears, and do a perfect imitation of Harley Quinn.

20. I've never been able to decide on a favorite food, color, name, book, movie, or video game.

21. I name inanimate objects. My butterfly knife is named Cloud, my psp is Yuffie, my Sword is called Haru, and my slippers are ruby and Garnet.

22. It's been 6 months since the last time I cut and I've never felt better.

23. I am not at all a morning person.

24. Non-organic milk makes me sick.

25. I'm really bad at baseball, dodgeball, and pretty much all sports. I wish I wasn't though. Since Hapkido, I'm starting to believe that maybe I don't have to be bad at them, but I don't have anyone to teach me to be better. I'm too afraid to join a sports team.

26. If my mommy's dog dislikes you, you had best have driven yourself to meet me, because you are certainly not staying in my house.

27. I like to try to guess things about people before I ever talk to them, then introduce myself and see how right I was.

28. I find car rides soothing. I sleep well during them, think the best during them, and see the most amazing things.

29. I'm not very patient with children, but I'm making myself learn.

30. I wish on kitty whiskers, pennies, birthday candles, shooting stars, necklace clasps, eyelashes, and rainbows.

31. I love my uncle, but I hate the man he's become.

32. I wish I had the courage to stand up to the people I dislike and tell them what I really think of them.

33. I hate to run. Walking is fine. I love to play tennis or soccer. I adore swimming. But Running? Nu-uh.

34. It took me six years, but I now have 3 furballs to prove that wishes do come true.

35. I am no one's pet.

36. I like silver much better than gold.

37. In my mind, being called Baby means I'm being cheated on. Baby girl is fine, but baby isn't.

38. I have what my friends call MADD-- Musical Attention Deficite Disorder

39. I'm more excited about Taylor drawing me something for my birthday than I was last year when she bought me something.

40. The one place I feel most at home is the pottery room at school. No one ever judges me there, because art is art and all art is different. My art doesn't care that I'm gay or a geek. It doesn't care what I'm wearing or if my hair is messy. I never have to put on make-up to feel appreciated by my art. If I could, I'd never leave that room.

41. I'm socially awkward, but I feel that I could have more friends if I truly gave two wits what people at school thought of me.

42. I'm an extremely sexual person. Kyle and Anthony took advantage of it, kevin ignored it, and tim didn't care. I'm not sure which pisses me off more. Being ignored or taken advantage of.

43. The Group is: Ardi, Anthony, Wesley, Emilie, and I.

44. Any day I can sleep for more than 4 or 5 hours without the use of sleeping pills is an amazing day.

45. I hate the cold. I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!

46. I've always had a desire to go to Athens and watch people gawk after they hear my name.

47. I steal letters (like a, y, z, ect) from the people I love the most.

48. I'm sort of an international parrot. If I can hear you say it, I can copy your accent, inflection, and pronunciation.

49. Taylor and I will sometimes spend all our time psychoanalyzing my dreams. The best part is: we think it's fun!

50. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm not as intelligent as I think I am.

51. Whenever I see my ex-boyfriends face, I get a strong urge to punch it. (Even if I just see it on the computer)

52. I can't look at a piece of art without touching it. I've never been able to.

53. I love to cook, but I'm so lazy that the only thing I ever make is Ramen or grilled chicken.

54. Whenever I get nervous I do one of three things: a) hide behind my hair b) talk too much or c) chew on my lip till it bleeds

55. My first homosexual experience was with a girl I never quite got over.

56. He scares the shit out of me, but I still think he's fucking beautiful.

57. I frequently crave cheeseburgers at midnight.

58. I wrote my all time favorite poem at a John Mayer concert on a scrap of paper from my purse and a napkin.

59. My biggest addictions are to the most harmless things.

60. I have no fucking clue how to ride a bike.

61. I love to swim, but I never really learned how.

62. The perfume I wear is actually a piece of ambergris I got in Colorado with Ardi. I really want to go back there soon.

63. When I was five, I took ballet, jazz, and tap dance. I hated all of them a quit 2 years later. Now I wish I hadn't.

64. I can't fit all of my books onto my bookshelf and that makes me really sad.

65. I'm a depressed schizophrenic with insomnia. Any questions?

66. I have a fondness for Japanese Kwaiden (Scary folk stories) and Irish Fairy tales

67. I sleep the best to the sounds of rain

68. I only make fudge for people I love.

69. I bite my cuticals because L does it. >.<

70. Yes I am a lesbian. NO you cannot watch.

71. I'm crazy about sweetarts. ^_^

72. I've never really been one for journaling.

73. I'm amazingly paranoid. I sleep with a bat under bed. XD

75. The best kinds of jokes are dirty ones in my mind.

76. I'm afraid to sleep in silence and darkness.

77. I'm afraid there's someone reading this right now thinking, "this is stupid".

78. I've always known how to break into my own home.

79. Ditto was always my favorite Pokemon.

80. I'm a ninja at finding people on the internet.

81. My first e-mail address was designed by my mommy and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

82. Lettuce has a taste, you're all just crazy.

83. My least favorite candy ever is deffinately hot tamales.

84. I have the tiniest feet ever.

85. I sleep on my side with one arm wrapped around my puppy.

86. I'm not really a red-head, but I hate being blonde.

87. I have only one secret from my friends and I'm terrified to tell them.

89. I dislike the word "thesbian. I like the words "spork" and "delicious" though.

90. When I'm really angry I burst into tears and scream at the same time.

91. Root beer is the best soda on earth.

92. I think drunk or high people are hilarious but stupid as hell.

93. Ardi's not good at telling people what she thinks. I suck at it.

94. My favorite Bath and Bodyworks scent is Country Apple.

95. I think I'm an only child, but I'm never really quite sure.

96. I wear rings to keep me from feeling naked

97. I still sleep with my first stuffed animal. =X

98. I am a well of useless information.

99. I collect art like some collect rocks.

100. If it ever takes mom more than 5 minutes to come back I worry she's leaving me.

101. In text messages, I use full sentences, commas, capitalization, and no chat speak.

I want to live a small corner of the old market and drive a "crotch rocket" to the university. When I come home in the evenings, I want it to be to my best friends. I want for us to sit down, eat home-made enchiladas, drink lemonade and have deep philosophical talks. I want to write a book, even if it never gets published. I want to travel to egypt, and climb the pyramids. I want to have lunch every day in a little cafe by my work and know all of the employees and the owners by name. I want to laugh as I dance on my tiny balcony to the sounds of jazz from a radio, or the street musicians playing cellos and clarinets. I want to one day be able to read Anna Karina and find it interesting. I want to climb a tree in kelly green converse and a mini-skirt. I want to go to Spain and learn to tango and salsa outside of a tiny restaurant that gives you red wine with every meal. I want to meet a girl here while dancing and fall madly in love. I want for all of my pets to live good, long lives. I want my friends to stay friends with me forever and for them to live nearby. I want us to have big "family" dinners every friday where we all bring something different. I want to adopt a beautiful baby girl who's strong and smart, who knows the lyrics to Native American lullabyes and sleeps the best when it's raining. I want for her to know Irish fairytales and Japanese Kwaidan by heart. I want to go to church on sunday and a synagogue on friday, just to show my child other religions. I want to spend all day in a book store that sells coffee dirt cheap and books that are "well-loved", as opposed to second hand. I want to wake up on saturdays just in time to crawl in front of the T.V. and watch old-time scooby-doo and looney toons. I want to never stop wishing on pennies, stars, eyelashes, and candles. I want to sing show tunes in the shower at the top of my lungs. I want to never stop wanting.

Just a warning to you all, this journal will function as a dream journal. Whenever I have a dream I see as significant, I'll update.

Dream:
I dreamt that I was wandering Target at the mall near me when a boy scurried past me, looking rather harried. He was very short with black hair and dressed all in black. Another boy named D.J. (I know him from school) caught the first boy by his shirt and demanded to know what he had done with his car. I could tell that the boy did not know what D.J. was talking about, however it appeared he was going to be beaten if he didn't speak. I stepped in and informed D.J. that I was the person responsible for the removal of his car. He dropped the boy (who ran off) and demanded that I tell him. I told him I had moved it to another parking lot and he should, "Go fetch." He stormed off murderously and I thought that both I and the boy would now be safe. Some time later D.J. came back and demanded again to know what I had done with his car. When I merely laughed, he threw me over his shoulder and strode away. I kicked and screamed, punching him and kicking him wherever I could, but it was little use. While there were people around me, none of them seemed to care what was happening. In fact, I don't think any of them could hear me. We left Target and he seemed to tire of my hitting and screaming so he put me down and again questioned me about the location of his car. When I laughed at him again he pulled his arm back as if to hit me. At this point I told him, "If you hit me, I will make you disappear off the face of the Earth." Even though he laughed, he lowered his hand as though afraid I really would harm him. He picked me up and threw me back over his shoulder and again I fought him. He dropped me and when I tried to get away, he caught me and dragged me outside. After this, I woke up.